Funny One Liners

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Why do men masturbate? it is sex with someone they love

A woman about sex has to know 'why?' and a man 'where?'

How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut its nose off.

Where does Dracula keep his valuables? In a blood bank.

Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.

What will it take to reunite Nirvana? Two more bullets.