Funny One Liners

My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.

Stop with the blind jokes ... I don´t see the point.

Why do husbands die before their wives? They want to.

Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.

Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.

If a stranger offers you a piece of candy...take two.

If you dont believe in Oral Sex, keep your mouth shut