Funny One Liners

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

What do you call a very small valentine? A valentiny.

What's long, black and smelly? The unemployment line.

What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex.

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?

I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.