Funny One Liners

You're like the little kid at school, hiding behind everyone, shouting "Get them!"

Worst thing you can do is hire a prostitute and then fail to get it up.

I adore purchasing lavish items, and subsequently not use them, just to irritate the poor unfortunate ones.

I'll have to live with the regret of making an offer I will not actually be extending.

Underestimating your enemy is the first sign of losing.

The sex with him was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway

How come "you're a peach" is a complement but "you're bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?