Funny One Liners

Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children

if a single teacher cant teach us all subjects, how is a student supposed to learn all the fucking subjects?

When a newly married woman smiles, all know why, but when a ten-years married woman smiles, all wonder why

Is google a woman? Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

If you think for a second that I'm being serious, you're a guaranteed golden medal in the Special Olympics