Funny One Liners

I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long.

Orphans don't play baseball because they don't know where home is!

Out of all the things I've lost, i miss my memory the most.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I usually don't have time to study, but when I do, I don't.

Taken is just the adult version of Finding Nemo.

Americans will spend around 6 months of their life waiting at red lights. True Story!