Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die
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What's the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.
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I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it ...so I said "Implants?"
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Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Regular rocks are too heavy
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How do you know that Santa is a man? No woman wears the same attire every year
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The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly
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I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror
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