All One Liners and Comebacks

One Liners

A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh alright, I'll stay the night."

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One Liners

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up

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One Liners

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now

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One Liners

Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don't have it

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One Liners

I don't date older women because it takes too long to listen to their life story

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One Liners

Why do female skydivers wear jock straps? So they don't whistle on the way down

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One Liners

All I'm saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?

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