How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up
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Why do midgets laugh while running through the yard? The grass tickles their nuts
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked
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She's so ugly, the fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
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What do you call it when a 90 year old man masturbates successfully? Miracle whip
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What do men and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up
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Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
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