Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
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The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
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The light at the end of the tunnel - are the front lights of a train.
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The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.
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It's better to be a worldwide alcoholic, than an Alcoholic Anonymous.
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What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry Ive got you covered!
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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Annie." "Annie who?" "Annie body home?"
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