Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.
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Whenever you get mad, just think of a T-rex trying to masturbate.
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Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?
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Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
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Your life doesn't get better by chance. It gets better by choice.
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A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
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Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it's all heart.
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