All One Liners and Comebacks

One Liners

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

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One Liners

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

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One Liners

What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.

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One Liners

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: a rip off

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One Liners

If you can't buy a person, you can always sell him.

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One Liners

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

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One Liners

If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

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