Latest Funny One Liners

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

You're 10 times more likely to die when your girlfriend says, "I'm fine" than when you are flying on an airplane.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies

Apparently, saying "Wow, you've grown since I last saw you" isn't deemed socially acceptable when said to adults