Latest Funny One Liners

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12

Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel

Darling, what are you thinking about right now? If I would want you to know, I would say it not think about it

Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

Don't be nervous if someone is driving ahead of you. The world is round, just think that you're driving first