Latest Funny One Liners

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis

Is google a woman? Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness

Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

My favorite sexual position: The Chilean miner. That's where you go down on me and stay there till Christmas

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument