Funny One Liners

You can get lucky once, maybe twice. Anything more is pure skills

If you can't recall my name, just yell 'Chicken Wings'. I'll turn around and look.

A man has to earn your daily bread

Don't wanna say I despise you, but if I have a cup of water and you're on fire, I'd drink it

My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, And the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

Why are women like KFC? After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money