Funny One Liners

We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.