Funny One Liners

I disapprove of every conspiracy of which I am not a part.

You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

What's the most common sleeping position of a man? Around.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.