Funny One Liners

Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Escalators don't break down... they just turn into stairs.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? Toes go in first!

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk.