Funny One Liners

Why do bachelors like smart women? Because they're so rare.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

Trying to understand women is like trying to smell color 9.

Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.

If you force sex on a prostitute is it rape or shoplifting?

Why wasn't the vampire working? He was on his coffin break.