Funny One Liners

Life didn't work out, but everything else is not that bad.

What is a vampires favourite type of ship? A blood vessel.

Any woman deserves sex, but not every woman a second time.

This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.

I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.

Looking at you is getting my dick harder than Chuck Norris

Are you the square root of -1? Because you can't be real.