Funny One Liners

Egotist: A person who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Missionary Impossible: When 2 fat people try to have sex.

Occasionally, a true friend gives his paw not his hand...

Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!