Funny One Liners

The kiss is a wordless articulation of desire whose object lies in the future, and somewhat to the south

There's a lot of pretty woman at spring because during other seasons you appreciate them with your brain

Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart? Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small

I never could bring a woman into my house. At first, because of the parents. Later, because of the wife

A friend is someone who will help you move. A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a dead body

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat

We come to love not by finding a perfect person... but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly