Funny One Liners

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good

You can't know a person well until you live with them. You can't know them really well until you divorce them

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces? For the chance to gain some experience in the service

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

Everything you do you're gonna regret. But if you do nothing, you will not only regret but will also suffer

Sorry, I'm out of my mind at the moment, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible

I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I'll start calling them traditions