Funny One Liners

I'd advise you graduates to keep your graduation gown. It's the only outfit you might not outgrow

What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of seamen

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling

White smoke from under my hood means either my starter went out or my car has elected a new Pope

You're so ugly when you were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back

When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this."

He doesn't know the meaning of fear... but then again, he doesn't know the meaning of MOST words