Funny One Liners

I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again"

Have a girl that everyone else dreams about, but don't dream about a girl that everyone else has

I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back

Oxygen is proven to be a toxic gas. Anyone who inhales oxygen will normally dies within 80 years

What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? They both drip when they're fucked

Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said "concentrate"!

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich