Funny One Liners

How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood? The Blacks get car insurance

It doesn't matter how much you work, there will always be an asshole that works less but gets more

Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

What's a man's idea of a perfect date? A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six pack

How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down