Funny One Liners

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing

If a man goes cheats for four times, according to the rules of geometry, he will come home

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one

I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can't watch porn

Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men? No phone numbers

I get plenty of exercise, jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines