Funny One Liners

Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results

Dear men, if you stopped seeing your wife as a woman, it doesn't mean that all men are blind

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes

Tomorrow is April Fools Day. Believe nothing, and trust no one. "So it's like any other day."

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience