Al Bundy One Liners & Quotes

Unlike marriage, phone sex is a victim-less crime

If your father didn't lace that lemonade, with vermouth, I'd be single

We've been married for 17 years now, can't we just be friends?

If I was the mailman, I would be having your wife!

I wanna go the way all Bundys go. I wanna hang myself in my own basement by jumping off my workbench

I'd rather go synchronized swimming with Angela Lansbuy. I'd rather have my neck shaved by Ray Charles, I'd even rather have your picture tattooed on the inside of my eye lids

We could always look at the poor people who were less fortunate than us and feel better. Well, let's find a mirror.