Al Bundy One Liners & Quotes

This is a sex free house and by God it will be for the rest of my life

you can stab me with knives, you can beat me with clubs, you can make me open my eyes when we're having sex but there's no way on earth you can make me get a second job

People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision

I hate my life. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't bury my wife in the backyard

Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for

Why go out for milk when you've got a cow at home

I haven't showered in a week so I think I better get right to bed