Latest Funny One Liners

There are no limits to my perfection, a monkey was thinking while looking at a human

What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? Jail break

Don't tell me I don't know the difference between right & wrong. Wrong is the fun one

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

What's the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself

How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker

Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso