Latest Funny One Liners

It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer

A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now

Would you send your son to a school run by someone who insisted on being called "Headmaster?"

Haven't seen any UFOs lately. Wondering if the galaxy is downsizing their space programs too