Latest Funny One Liners

How do people lose their kids at the mall? Seriously, any tips would be greatly appreciated

Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card? The thief was spending less then his wife

I wish conversations were like user agreements where I could skip to the end and just agree

Darling, will you catch me if I jump into the water?' 'Darling, if I say yes, will you jump?

We need to look at how the world really works, not just accept the way we are told it works

A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable