Latest Funny One Liners

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one

I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can't watch porn

Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men? No phone numbers

I get plenty of exercise, jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines

The last airline I flew charged for everything. Except for the bad service. That was free

I thought I was just really tired but it's been 5 years so I guess this is how I look now

What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming human