Latest Funny One Liners

Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday

The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring

You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best

I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness, is realizing the other person was born an idiot

That moment when you laugh so much about your friends joke you end up farting accidentally

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket