The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
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The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. All the winners are from Earth.
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Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Anyone have any sex laying around they're not using I could borrow?
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He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.
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How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
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