Latest Funny One Liners

Why did God put men on the Earth? Becuase a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.

I downloaded the Pinterest app and now my phone is stuck in a mason jar.

If a woman is cold as a fish, a man has to be as patient as a fisherman.

Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they are used to eating nuts!

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

If you get in the mood to do some work, someone will always wake you up.