Latest Funny One Liners

I adore purchasing lavish items, and subsequently not use them, just to irritate the poor unfortunate ones.

That's a cool story bro, but let me get an expert on cool stories down here so I know what I'm dealing with

Will you marry me, so I can move in with you, become unemployed, play video games, eat cheetos all day long and buy you gifts with food stamps ?

Worst thing you can do is hire a prostitute and then fail to get it up.

Knowledge is power. Information that no one else possess is dominance.

I can give you a hint. It's a number that doesn't exist in the roman numerals.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.