Funny One Liners

When you go to the drugstore, why are the condoms not in with the other party supplies?

Why did God make man before woman? You need a rough draft before you have a final copy

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? You must be because you are BeAuTi-ful.

If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

I have as much authority as the Pope, i just don't have as many people who believe it

The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off