Funny One Liners

What's the difference between a blonde and a guy? The blonde has the higher sperm count

Why don't the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If the fortune has turned her back on you, you can do whatever you want behind her back

If good things come in small packages, then more good things can come in large packages

Why do the Scottish wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from like a mile away

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine? Because you always heart the one you love