Funny One Liners

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead

The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later

Two years ago I married a lovely young virgin, and if that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her

Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones

Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs

What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit