Funny One Liners

I know that there are people who don't love their fellow man, I hate those people

It is said that, you can't buy happiness. You only need to know the right places

People who write "u" instead of "you". What do you do with all the time you save?

She wanted a puppy. But I didn't want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy

Real men don't cry...tears for real men are only unnecessary liquids in the body

This isn't working out. I think we should start making other people miserable

The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait