There are two kinds of friends : those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you
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I think that if I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore
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They were the type of children who would kill both parents and make you feel sorry for them because they were orphans
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The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
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You should know, that no one understood it was an April fool's joke because no one expected you have a sense of humor
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Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
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