All One Liners and Comebacks

One Liners

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

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One Liners

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water

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One Liners

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you're innocent"

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One Liners

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there

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One Liners

Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack

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One Liners

How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work

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One Liners

Most of the people dream of not working and having lots of money. During an economic crisis 50 % of those dreams came true

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