Why don't witches wear panties? They get a better grip on their brooms!
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What's one of the worst things about giving a man a blow job? The view.
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An ad at the zoo: 'Don't scare the ostriches! The floors are concrete!'
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How can you tell which is the head nurse? The one with the dirty knees.
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If you love a woman, you shouldn't be ashamed to show her to your wife.
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I flirted with disaster last night. Now disaster won't stop texting me.
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Where were you I have been waiting for half an hour. Said No Girl Ever.
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