Latest Al Bundy One Liners & Quotes

Hello officer, did you mistake our house with a doughnut shop

It tells me you're a girl, which means your opinion means less to me than dog's

I married you till death do us part. Which means when I'm dead I'm free to date

We haven't had any kids in over 10 years. I must be doing something right

Oh, Lord, if I ever meant anything to you, please let me fall asleep before she thinks of sex

Sure selling shoes is fun. But behind the glamour, it's like any other minimum wage slow death

Sorry, Peg, I didn't hear you. I was thinking of killing myself