Latest Funny One Liners

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don't stop".

Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace & choose to pay for self destruction

Girls wanting giant ass teddy bears, & VS bags, and bouquets of underwear for valentines day. Just give me some pizza & I'll love u forever.

If I get interviewed by a police sketch artists, my only goal will be to see how far I get before he realizes I'm making him draw a pirate.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

My dream woman has a special combination of inner and outer beauty and is, most importantly, too naive to know she's way out of my league.

Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that... This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purpose