Al Bundy One Liners & Quotes

If my wife left me, I'd be dancing on the deck of the good ship hooter-pop, with a smile on my face and my face on a smile

A fat woman Godzillas into the shoe store today, asks for something she could wear to walk in the woods. Jokingly, I suggest she wear a sign that says: "Don't shoot from the front I look human"

You wouldn't know this but it's tough out there for those of us without a couch growing out of our butt

It is ok to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes

Synchronized swimming is not a sport

Mud wrestling is a sport

Don't worry Peg, your time will come when they start couch pooling