Al Bundy One Liners & Quotes

If God wanted women to play ball, he'd have made them men

Don't put on a dress and ask us if it makes you look fat. We hate that. Besides, it's not the dress that makes you look fat, it's the fat that makes you look fat

That 8 track is to today's stereos what a girlfriend is to a wife. An earlier better version

Behind every successful man is a woman who didn't marry me

We're closed and, much like my life, the day is over

This cheese means more to me than both your lives

I wish the world were a fly and I was a giant rolled up newspaper